Thoughts On Grief
Introduction —— I was reminded over the last two weeks that I live in a fragile world. We lost two family members unexpectedly during this time. Death and loss are hard to process, especially unanticipated loss. In our case, I did not have time to prepare myself mentally, emotionally, and relationally for these deaths. So I am currently grieving and thinking a lot about grief.
Greif is an emotion that we feel when we experience a loss. Grief is a normal and healthy human response to a loss in life. A loss could be a relationship, a person, physical health, a community, or even a job.
As followers of Jesus, we need to have a healthy theology and process around grief.
Jesus taught us that mourning and grief are good for the soul. He said, "Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted." (Matthew 5:4).
Jesus also processed grief over loss. When his friend Lazarus died, the Bible says, "Jesus Wept." (John 11:35). The term used for Jesus weeping is δακρύω, which means to cry or to break out in tears. This was weeping as the result of grief.
During biblical times, they gave people sufficient time to process grief due to a loss. Here are a few examples:
Egyptians mourned for Jacob for 70 days (Gen. 50:3)
Israel mourned for Aaron for 30 days (Numbers 20:29)
Israel mourned for Moses for 30 days (Deuteronomy 34:8)
Israel mourned for Samuel for 30 days (1 Samuel 25:1)
Jacob mourned for Joseph for many days (Genesis 37:34)
Grief was an important part of being human in the biblical world. Not only did people enter into their grief, they were encouraged to process grief as a healthy response to loss.
Here are a few truths about grief that are valuable to know.
Grief is healthy. It is healthy to process through grief, and on the opposite end, it is unhealthy to suppress our grief. Grief is normal and healthy response to loss in life.
Grief is personal. Each person that is experiencing grief has a unique story and a unique set of circumstances. They enter into grief within that context, and they process through it uniquely. Although there are known phases and components to grief, it has often been pointed out that no two people will experience grief in the same way.
Grief is a process. It takes time to process a loss. We cannot rush the grief process. There is a known cultural saying that time heals all wounds. That is not necessarily true. When it comes to grief, it is not time that heals, rather it is what we do during the that time that heals.
Grief fluctuates. It is an experience that comes and goes, like rain in the winter. One moment you may be feeling joy and contentment, and the next you may feel a rush of grief. That is completely normal.
It is important for you to know that it is ok to grieve. In fact, it is not just ok, it is healthy to grieve a loss. Give yourself the time and space you need to walk through the grief process. And reach out for help as you walk through this process. You and I were not meant to grieve alone. We need relational and spiritual support along the way.
There Are Better Days Ahead.
Much Love + Peace,
Wesley, Founder + Speaker