Thoughts On Happiness
Introduction—Happiness.
Happiness is the collective pursuit of Western culture. We talk about happiness more than any other emotion. The "pursuit of happiness" is an unalienable right in our Declaration of Independence. Although happiness is our collective pursuit, it seems elusive to many. Athletes pursue winning the ultimate prize in their sport and when they arrive at the pinnacle moments of victory, they often describe a hollowness in their soul. People pursue career goals and when they arrive at their goal, they often communicate that they thought they would be more satisfied. The American dream of a career, marriage, kids and a home is portrayed as the pinnacle of happiness, and yet divorce rates have soared and mental health challenges are permeating families pursuing the American dream. We are all left wanting more.
At some level happiness is wired into God's design for the human soul. However, God's design for happiness is not predicated on wealth, or career goals, or perfect circumstances, or reaching the heights of society. God's design for happiness has far more to do with relationships and the state of our soul. God wants you and I to be happy, but God's definition of happiness stands in contrast to the popular ideology of happiness in our culture.
What Is Happiness?
Author and psychology researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky defines happiness in her book The How of Happiness as “the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.” (Greater Good Magazine, UC Berkeley)
When we talk about happiness in our culture, it is often a subjective experience that is being described based on positive circumstances. Happiness in modern ideology seems to be an emotional state based on our present condition--almost always pointing to favorable circumstances. The challenge with this conceptual idea of happiness is that we are humans living in a broken world. Sometimes we have favorable circumstances and sometimes we have unfavorable circumstances. We cannot always control our circumstances. Therefore, happiness must be predicated on other factors than just favorable circumstances.
Happiness as an emotion that God created is a state of well-being rooted in a soul-connected relationship with Him, how we treat others, and an orientation of life that reflects His purposes for our life.
To help parse this out visually, happiness is rooted in...
A healthy relationship with God
A healthy relational orientation toward others
The condition of our soul in relationship to God’s purposes for our life
What does this look like? Well, Jesus taught on happiness.
Jesus Teaching on Happiness
One day Jesus sat down on a mountain in Galilee and began the teach his disciples. This teaching is called the Sermon on the Mount and this is Jesus's most well-known teaching.
In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus teaches about the interior life, how a relationship with God and living right begin on the inside. The heart of following Jesus begins in the heart. What is inside of us is the foundation for our beliefs and actions.
Jesus begins this teaching talking about happiness. Happiness according to his design for human flourishing. Happiness experienced as we live according to the values of the kingdom of God.
This teaching on happiness is structured like tweetable one liners. There are 8 short statements about happiness called “beatitudes.” These statements are paradoxical in nature. Yet, they are the genuine way of life that leads to happiness.
The term blessed begins each of these statements. Blessed comes from the Greek word μακαριος. Μακαριος | makariōs means happy or a state of deep inner joy. This state is based on an internal condition rather than external circumstances.
Let’s look at each of these happiness statements.
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 5:3) The poor in spirit recognize their human state of imperfection and their need for God's kindness and grace in their lives. The opposite of poor in spirit are people proud in spirit who live an arrogant and self-willed life in relationship to God and people. Happiness comes through humility toward God and people.
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." (Matthew 5:4) Those who mourn experience human grief and lament honestly before God. We are not created to suppress our grief, but process it openly and honestly with God and people. Happiness comes through communicating our honest emotions to God and others, and ultimately finding comfort in Him.
"Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth."(Matthew 5:5) The meek have a gentle and humble orientation. They do not assert themselves to advance their own agenda, but allow God to control their lives to advance His kingdom. Happiness comes through meekly submitting our lives to the way of Jesus.
"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." (Matthew 5:6) Those who hunger and thirst for righteousness have a deep longing for rightness--rightness in a relationship with God, rightness in relationships with others and rightness in relationship to the world. When we long for and pursue righteousness, God satisfies the deep longings of our soul. Happiness comes through pursuing what is right and allowing God to satisfy the deep longings of our soul.
"Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy." (Matthew 5:7) The merciful are compassionate people. They feel and show compassion, and they meet people's needs. The merciful offer mercy and they also receive mercy. Happiness comes through caring for people in need.
"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God."(Matthew 5:8) The pure in heart care about their internal atmosphere. They want purity of heart to guide their motivations and decisions in life. They want purity of heart to be their orientation toward God and people. Purity carries a simplicity of motivation and pursuit—Jesus and His kingdom. Happiness comes through a purity and simplicity of heart.
"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God." (Matthew 5:9) Peacemakers pursue healthy and reconciled relationships. Peace is a state of harmony between people. The opposite of peace is fractured relationships. Peacemakers pursue reconciliation in their relationships. Happiness comes through pursuing reconciliation and peace in our relationships.
“Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 5:10) Those who are persecuted because of righteousness recognize that when you live right and follow Jesus, some people will oppose you. However, living right and following Jesus is worth it when all is said and done. Living the way of Jesus, even when it is hard, is the ultimate value. Happiness comes through living right and following the way of Jesus.
The Pursuit of Happiness
How do we discover this happiness in our lives? What are practical steps we can take to orient our lives to the way of Jesus?
Recognize False Happiness Pursuits. Identify the happiness pursuits in your life that will leave your soul empty and wanting more. Are my pursuits for happiness mirroring the Americanized version of happiness or the way of Jesus? One helpful observation may be to notice if there is a cycle of pursuit that leaves you empty and wanting more. Probe that pursuit and filter it through the teachings of Jesus. Sometimes deconstructing false happiness pursuits is the first step to reconstructing your life around the way of happiness according to Jesus.
Pursue Happiness According to Jesus. We have the privilege of aligning our desires and pursuits with the way of Jesus. He is the designer of our souls and understands the dynamics that cause happiness. He designed emotional health on every level. And we get to trust and follow His way of life. Happiness comes through. Humility. Feeling and communicating honest emotions. Meekly submitting our lives to the way of Jesus. Pursuing what is right. Caring for people in need. Purity and simplicity of heart. Pursuing peace in our relationships. Following the way of Jesus as our ultimate value.
Cultivate A Healthy Relationship with Grief. We often think that grief is opposed to happiness. Happiness is not an experience that dismisses negative emotions. Grief and sorrow are meant to be felt and processed. Dismissing these emotions will actually be a roadblock to happiness. A healthy and happy soul feels emotions honestly and processes them in a healthy manner. Jesus would never teach us to dismiss honest emotions. In fact, Jesus is the center and example of happiness and He experienced deep sorrow and emotional pain. You have permission to feel your grief. Your grief is not opposed to your happiness.
There Are Better Days Ahead.
Much Love + Peace,
Wesley, Founder + Speaker