Processing Pain
He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. -Isaiah 53:3, NIV
Pain —— is a human experience. We feel pain due to the reality of suffering in a broken world. Suffering and pain appear in many forms: some experience physical pain, others mental and emotional pain; some experience relational pain, others the pain of a global crisis.
All pain is real and distressing.
In 2018 my wife was diagnosed with a serious and permanent neurological condition. Every crevice of my soul ached. I wept. I anxiously thought about the future. The future seemed overwhelming and uncertain. I walked around with a deep emotional burden. I felt her loss. I eventually became weary and numb inside. I was living with deep pain.
I have thought a lot about pain since that time, and have been particularly drawn to how Jesus related to the human experience of pain.
Peter taught the early disciples that Jesus was the example for processing pain and suffering, saying, “To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps” (1 Peter 2:21, NIV).
Jesus is the best example for processing pain.
How did Jesus relate to pain?
How did Jesus process His own pain?
How Jesus Related to Others Pain —— When Jesus’ friend Lazarus died, he wept. Jesus felt the pain of loss and suffering in a broken world. He never minimized or deflected human pain. He entered into it. And before he resurrected Lazarus back to life, He cried aloud in a moment of emotional pain. In that moment, He felt His own sorrow and the sorrow of those around Him. I still find that remarkable and helpful—Jesus chose to enter into the emotions and empathy of pain before He performed a miracle.
When others are walking through a painful experience, it is easy to deflect. And we often do this because we feel uncomfortable. Rather than deflecting a person’s pain with a pivot in conversation or an encouraging word, we should enter into and validate their pain. This is the way that we reflect Jesus in relating to pain.
How Jesus Processed His Own Pain —— Shortly before Jesus went to the cross, He sat in the garden of Gethsemane, praying fervently to His Father to take the cup of suffering from Him. He was in such deep mental and emotional pain the He began to sweat drops of blood. Jesus did not suppress His pain; He felt it. He communicated His pain, emotions and pleas to His Father openly and honestly. In that same story, Jesus also made sure His three closest friends were near. He needed the support of His friends during the darkest moments of His life.
As you walk through pain like Jesus, feel your pain and communicate it to God.
There is great healing in processing your pain honestly and openly with God. He invites you to do this.
This is an important path toward healing. Not only do we need this type of prayer, we also need the people we are closest to during the painful moments of our lives. We are not wired to suffer alone; we need the help and support of family and friends.
Reach out to someone —— ask for help. I know that this may sound anxiety inducing and deeply vulnerable, but once you do, you will find the healing relational and emotional support that you need.
I hope that this example helps you, much love to you today and always — Wesley, Founder